My Inspiration
After feeling the relief of victoriously battling through breast cancer, I was dealt a much harder blow. My love, my husband, was diagnosed with advanced stages of neuroendocrine tumors.
My emotions and my gears shifted.
I didn’t hesitate to transfer my role from being the victim to being the caretaker. As we learned how difficult it is to diagnose and treat this disease, we bolstered for the inevitable outcome. I’m not sure that saying goodbye can ever truly be expressed in words; but, my poetry and dedication to raising awareness about this disease gives me purpose and strength. I do this so others may not suffer the same inevitable loss and to help those who already have.
If you wish to donate to Neuroendocrine Cancer Research at the UC San Francisco Foundation in Scott's Honor...
Sharon's Path Through Poetry
One of my first poems as a young child was a humorous little rhyme about a dog named Fred. I was probably seven years old at the time. Another poem described flowers blooming in Spring. Growing up in Northern California the ocean and the mountains were always nearby. I loved road trips to Yosemite and watching waterfalls flow. A child seeing life – the beauty, the laughter and colors abound.
As I grew older though, my writings grew also in thought and emotion. Life was not all beauty – the colors were mixed with pain, the realities of life – a blending of the good and the difficult to bare. When I was fifteen, my mother was hospitalized with complications from an ulcer. In the end, she was hospitalized for two weeks. At that young age, I was so fearful of losing her. With immense gratitude she recovered and my heart lightened. The act of writing gave me strength when I needed it the most. I read my words in creative writing class and shared with others my age. I stuttered at the time and the reading was labored, but something inside me pushed me forward to speak. Maybe they would understand what it felt like – maybe we could understand one another on a deeper level.
Poetry is powerful, an extremely personal experience and yet when shared it can touch another soul going through difficult times. A simple poem can be a bridge of sorts between those struggling to feel understood and gain comfort, especially those going through illness, or losing a loved one. By sharing my story and my poems, I hope to bring others comfort and promote poetry as a form of solace, understanding and friendship.
Within three years, I experienced two traumatic events. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2012 at the age of 43, I wrote poetry about my fears, treatments and recovery. I shared about having a mastectomy and yet, how I still felt feminine and thankful. The simple act of writing, wrapped me in comfort. Shockingly, my husband Scott was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer in 2013. My words described being a caregiver and the sheer helplessness of watching someone you love suffer. In the summer of 2014, I poured out emotion about losing him and having to live without my best friend.
Even though I have dear friends and loved ones who support me, poetry is another friend, giving me strength and unconditional love when I need it the most. It is my hope that by sharing my experience with breast cancer and losing a loved one to cancer too, others may feel some solace in knowing they are not alone in what they have been given to endure. And maybe they will take time to write from their own perspective, their own pain, their own experience with illness, being a caregiver, or the grief that comes from losing someone you love so deeply. Whether the poem is shared with others or not – the act of writing a poem is truly one of self-expression , whatever that may be. Through out my life poetry has befriended me when I needed it the most and I consider this a gift for which I am truly thankful.